Monday, August 18, 2008

Long Live Optimism

It'a a Tuesday. I woke up with a very bad headache... and then it hit me. I have 9 periods of teaching today. Urghhhh! I wanted to run, hide, cry... do anything but get up and get ready to go to work.
7.25 am. I'm at the Parade Square waiting for the flag raising ceremony with approximately 1400 other students and 70 staff members. One word. Sux. I'm not a bad teacher; I just need more motivation than others. Well, that's a fallacy coz over here, a teacher who needs more motivation than others is equal to (=) a bad teacher.

I think it's time to move on. You know, when I started teaching in Dunearn many years ago, the part I dreaded most was going into class and having to teach the students. Now, it's the part I enjoy the most (besides slacking in the staff room). I like imparting knowledge to them and interacting with them. Most of the time, majority of them are attentive, cooperative and pleasant. There are bad days when nothing can wake them or shut them up though but generally, they're okay.

What I dread now is the admin work, collecting shitty forms, all the extras I have to do which has nothing to do with teaching. The big dread now is "Dunearnite". It's not that I hate doing it. I love drama and seeing the students perform at the end of it all fills me with pride and joy but it's just particularly bad this year. The big scale musical they are dreaming of may not materialize. I mean, we can probably cough up a musical but we probably have to cough up blood first.

I don't know. I'm such a pessimist now. It seems I need to change. A few people have pointed out that I used to be different; much more positive and cheerful and NICE... which means I'm just MEAN now huh? Like really? Am I mean? I mean I'm not the most pleasant person on Earth but I reckon I ain't that bad. I really can't be who I was. This is me. I guess I'm just at that stage of my life where things are a bit difficult and I'm trying my best to stay afloat so if you are patient with me and cut me some slack, I'd appreciate it and try my best to be nicer. So there, I've said it.

Enough of this reflection bull. Let's talk about something else. Let's talk about Fuddin. Fuddin has a problem. He needs bigger diapers. Haha. Seriously! I can't find anything bigger than Mamy Poko XXL so if any one of you can help me here, I'd appreciate it. Fuddin has also started singing! I mean it's just some humming and "Lalas" but to me, it's the sweetest music in the world. While my son is difficult, he's not impossible and I adore him so to those who stop and stare and wonder what's wrong with my son, go screw spiders or something. Ignorance is one thing; plain stupidity is another. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, don't ask coz i'm not going to bother explaining. Those of you who do know what I'm talking about, thanks for the support and kind words.

As for Ayra, my pretty (and vain) little gal is now 17 kg! Woohoo! It took her forever to get to 16kg and now she's 17 kg. Her ability to outtalk me is also improving day by day and while she's a real sweetheart most times, she can be such a pain! Still, I guess her outspokenness and desire to be heard (at all times) mirrors me so I have only myself to blame :)

As for dear hubby, what can I say? Your patience with me is undeniably admirable. A lesser man would have faltered and given up. For that, I thank you.

As for my parents, they're trudging along... particularly tired lately coz Fuddin is so hyper nowadays and Ayra... well, she just doesn't stop yakking. Well, it's Dad's birthday on sunday so we're all gonna go out and have a nice meal. He deserves it.

Well, it's the end of the day and I've survived the day. I can now go home to my screaming children, tired (thus naggy) parents and dirty flat. Haha. Let me reword that. I can now go home to my active children, helpful parents and large flat. Yes, optimism is not my for'te but I'm trying.

To prove that, let me end off on a happy note - with a pic of the loves of my life. Long live optimism.

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