No Turning Back

Hi all.  As usual, my students are doing work so I'm taking the chance to blog whatever I can.  I've been insanely busy.  The 1 week school holiday came and went.  I only managed to stay home 3 out of the 7 days and this includes the weekend.  I'm stuffed and so here it comes...the ANNOUNCEMENT... I am quitting!!!!  Haha!!!  We (hubby and me) decided that it's best that I spend more time with the kids, especially Fuddin.  Financially, we're gonna be fried (haha) but you know what?  It's ok.  I only live once and I'm not getting any younger and I don't want to spend whatever little I have of my life being a slave to my job.  It's not that I don't like my job.  I love what I do.  In fact, I'm an effing good teacher... but there lies my fault...I'm pretty good at teaching and not much more.  Administratively, I'm pretty bad.  I'm not much of a disciplinarian either.  I hate the tons of marking and the extras we teachers have to do like "Sports Day", "Cross Country" and what have you.  I just want to teach.  It's just not right.  I am in school for almost 12 hours.  By the time I'm home, it's 7 and I clean the house, check the kid's homework, play with the kids, etc till their bedtime at about 10.30pm.  This leaves me about 1 hour and a half to mark or do some work before bedtime which is midnight.  Weekends are not much better, I try and fit in as much work as I can.  To cut the story short, I've lived this life for a long time, it's time I moved on.  I am going to take control of my life and change it the way I want to.  I am NOT gonna be a coward and carry on with the status quo.  I do not want to be on my deathbed twenty, thirty years from now and regret the life I led or the choices I made.  Yes, I've made many mistakes and made many bad choices before and I don't think it's possible for me to not continue doing so but I have a good feeling about this.  I believe I will be happier.  Yes, I will be poorer and yes, we will have to tighten our belts but no, I will not regret my decision.  It's not that I'm gonna stay home and rot though.  I'm still gonna teach... either private tuition, at a centre and who knows, maybe even open up my own tuition centre one day?  I don't really care.  I just want to do something for myself.  It's been so long since I put myself first. 

No more file checks!  No more marking standardizations!  No more marking hundreds of scripts in the shortest time, no more lesson observations, no more irritating HODs on my back, no more office politics, no more having to be nice to colleagues when you feel like crap, no more waking up at 5am, no more dreading Mondays, no more setting and vetting papers, no more chasing certain assholes for their work when in actual fact I don't give a damn about those good-for-nothing buggers.  No more attendance taking during assemblies, no more CCAs, no more effing camps, sports day, cross country and loads of other crappy activities meant to nurture the whole child,  no more ranking, no more trying to get and sustain 40 odd childrens' attention at one go, no more school dinners or teambuilding crap, no more lesson record file, no more, no more, no more........

Haha...but then there's no fixed income or bonuses either... but hey, let's be positive.  Let's worry about that when the time comes.  If we have to cut down on the expenses, we will.  As long as my family and me don't starve, we'll survive.

So there, I'll bitch another day.  Till then, let me bask in my favorite daydream...which will soon be a reality.